How to write your wedding vows
We speak all the time about how passionate we are for you to have the most beautiful day whatever size it is, you deserve it!
As elopement and micro wedding specialists we encounter many couples that feel they may not even need to do personal vows on their wedding day and when it’s just the two of you we totally get why you may not want to do personal vows but, we will say, choosing to do personal vows won’t ever be a decision you regret.
“What do I write and how do I write it?”
Most couples (having never been married before) struggle with where to start and this is why we have written this guide, so you can work out how to structure something really great for your wedding vows. Our Elope team celebrants work right along side our couples to structure this, but this is a great starting point before you refine it leading up to the big day.
“Think of it as similar to writing each other a card or a nice letter to each other”
A great structure to start with is:
Start with how you met, what you love about one another
Reflect on the past of your relationship and how you got here
Add some promises to each other and what you look forward to in the future together.
Talking about a few things as to why you love your person so much, maybe add in 3/4 things you love about each other
If you want to keep it light hearted with a few jovial promises in there or even some -"I don't promise to" then go for it
If you have children write some promises to them as well
Some added tips are:
When you jot your thoughts down, pretend you can't press the delete button so the first gut instinct vows is usually the best.
Don't overthink it, just pop your thoughts down on the page and it will be perfect
Keep your vows true to YOU, authenticity is the best policy - you do you, boo
Steer clear of Google
If you’re worried about making it too deep or thats doesn’t reflect who you both are as a couple keep it light hearted - add in a funny idiosyncrasy or annoying (but funny trait) of your partner
Don’t wing it - you won’t remember everything you want to say
Make sure you get your vows to your celebrant so they can print them and have them sitting in something nice to read from - a handwritten scrunched up piece of paper is not sexy in photos, neither is pulling the piece of paper out of your cleavage in the middle of the ceremony, lol!
It doesn’t matter if your vows are longer or shorter than your partners quality is better than quantity
Once you start putting pen to paper the words will flow, starting is the hardest part
Avoid jokes about difficult family dynamics (unless the in laws aren’t present ;)
On the day
Your vows are a reflection of you and your own relationship so just own the moment
If the tears flow, let them flow, if you are in stitches of laughter, let your belly hurt!
Below is a great example of what vows can look like (don’t copy and paste these, challenge yourself to put something really personal together, this just gives you an example of how the guide above works into a ceremony situation):
Example wedding vows
Starting with the (boring, but essential) legal bit you have to include - "I call upon the people here present to witness that I (FULL NAME) take you (FULL NAME) to be my wedded wife | husband | partner in marriage..."
“I can't believe that we are both standing here today, in front of our closest family and friends. The first night we met I was super nervous but we got talking over a few drinks and the rest was history. I couldn't get over your amazing blue eyes and your great sense of humour.
We have travelled the world together and visited some incredible places but I also just love hanging out on the weekend at a local winery or snuggled up on the couch binge-ing Netflix.
I promise to ride through life with you, wherever the road may take us and hope that we can make some mini me’s along the way where we can enjoy new adventures as a family. I know you are going to make a great parent one day as you already are to our fur baby Bruce. I also promise to not complain while you watch really bad reality TV shows that you love.
Thanks for choosing me, I’m so excited for our next adventure and I love you with all my heart!”
There you have it, a guide on writing great ceremony vows. We promise it’s not as daunting as it seems, start the process with plenty of time before your wedding and you will have time to refine them to something perfect before the day.